Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Happy Effin New Year!

I had thought of coming back to the Bloodshot Eye with something lighthearted and funny and perhaps even touching. Feh.

I spent the month of November as a "contestant" in National Novel-Writing Month, the challenge being to write 50,000 words in thirty days, a goal I actually reached. My personal goal was to emerge from November with a viable first draft, and I'm proud to say that I accomplished that, too, if you ignore the fact that as of November 30, the story was only half-done. (If it matters, I am now in the process of writing the second draft and let me just say that it's a far slower process, seeing as I have to make my way through sentences, created in a coffee-and-cigarette-fueled rush back in November, that were written with an eye cast more to word count than lucidity.)

Anyway, I missed the whole election process, thanks to NaNoWriMo, as they like to call it, and I just want to say that I'm extraordinarily grateful. Because looking at the headlines now, after the new Congress has had a month and a half to settle in, I can see that the inmates are still in charge of the nuthouse.

Let's just get the angry thing out of the way right off: Why the hell would anyone put William Jefferson on any committee? Whatever happened to worrying about the appearance of impropriety? The man had bribe money in his freezer, for God's sakes, and the Democrats put him on the Homeland Security Committee? Did I miss something? Was there a campaign slogan--"The Democrats. All the incompetence, only one-half the corruption," perhaps--that I didn't see in the papers?

It is, after all, a defense that the Republicans have used for years. Whenever someone points out that the current disastrous excuse for an administration seems to have an awful lot of ties to some pretty shady people (Grover Norquist? Ralph Reed? Why haven't these guys been shot?), their knee-jerk reaction is to point out that Bill Clinton got a hummer in the Oval Office and then lied about it. I will say categorically right now that I think Clinton was a far better president than Mr. Bush can even hope to pretend to be. I think the far right should be castrated and sterilized--for God's sakes, don't let 'em breed. Not that I think Clinton ran a clean ship. Yes, the man and his administration were corrupt--ALL administrations are corrupt--, but at least Clinton and the gang didn't murder 3000 American soldiers on a whim and a desire to show daddy how tough his ne'er-do-well idiot son can really be.

Which is how the Democrats got to where they currently are. Apparently enough people decided that enough was enough and voted against the failed status quo. But it will be more of the same--only the names will change. Special favors, special friends--K Street knows no loyalty save the almighty dollar. And proof of that is William Jefferson being allowed to serve on the Homeland Security Committee. I don't care if, through some miracle, he is "innocent": The man should have been allowed to serve on nothing more august and important than the Birthday Party Planning Committee. I'm sure there is one, because that's the important kind of work that Congress likes to see done, right up there with non-binding resolutions. What the hell kind of a waste of your time and your tax money is a non-binding resolution? It's like pissing on a forest fire and saying you helped put it out.

If we, the American people, had any sense--to say nothing of stones--, we would simply not vote for anyone whose name is on an actual ballot. We would write in our favorite porn star, or chemically-altered athlete or our most senile uncle. Anybody but the people who actually want the job. Douglas Adams once wrote that "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." This is true at lower levels of governmental incompetence, greed and evil as well, in exactly the same way that Einstein's famous "E=mc^2" applies to all chemical reactions, not just nuclear ones. The same mechanism is at work.

Okay. That's enough for now. Maybe next time we can get back to slightly more cheerful skewering, but I gotta tell you: Anger feels good, or at least venting it does. Maybe in 2008 we can all remember that.