Welcome to Sam's Club. May I park your Rolls?

I read in the news today that Italian fashion group Fendi S.R.L., a “unit” of French luxury goods maker LVMH Moet Hennessy Louis Vuitton, has just filed a lawsuit here in the US against, ahem, Wal-Mart. According to the article, Sam’s Club (a “unit” of Wal-Mart) has been selling Fendi knock-offs, which are advertised as genuine, for less than one might expect to pay for top-of-the-line pushpins. You know, the kind that come in multiple colors.

As if this weren’t already weird enough, the Reuters article I got this from mentions that Sam’s Club recently said it “would ratchet up competition with rival Costco Wholesale by selling more luxury goods like fine wines and diamonds."

One can only begin to imagine the panoply of fine luxury items that will now become available at low, low member prices, thanks to this escalating competition. The Donatella Versace “Free ‘n’ Easy” Collection, perhaps, or a line of Eric Gaskin “Outdoor Living” furs.

Don’t get me wrong. I love a good ratcheting up of competition as much as the next fellow, and I’m sure not going to turn my nose up at a price war over, say, 2002 Domaine des Comtes Lafon Puligny Montrachet Champs Gains (I found a bottle on the Web for $329.99, lest Sam’s Club—or Costco, as far as that goes—think me a less-than-savvy consumer) or four-carat E-color brilliant cut diamonds, previously available by appointment only from men with disagreeable accents and snotty attitudes.

It would be a HUGE relief, is what I’m really saying, I guess, to be in a situation in which a knowledgeable employee, easily identifiable by his or her brightly-colored vest and DYMO’d plastic name tag

can knowledgeably but clearly explain, in a euphonious minimum-wage American accent, how E-color (colorless) differs from D-color (colorless) and why I, as a savvy consumer, should give a rat’s butt hair.

My problem here is this: How, in light of these recent allegations by Italian fashion group Fendi S.R.L., can I be sure that I’m really getting the wine or diamond I’m paying for? We’ve already established that I’m no rube, but if Sam’s Club can—allegedly—stick a Fendi decal or whatever on a handbag and sell it as genuine (and for 45% off), then what’s to stop them from slapping a fancy label on a bottle of Boone’s Farm Country Kwencher and then claiming no responsibility for the fact that the wine was “off”? Not, mind you, that I’m saying they would, but the point is that maybe I'm not feeling so good about that Rolls Royce I just bought on special.

So, yeah, you can bet that I’m definitely going to look a little more closely at the luxury goods I purchase from Sam’s Club from now on.

Good thing there’s a Costco down the road.